Everyones itchy!
by 01wing
Summary: The dragons slayers experience P.P.F.G.C.F.M.B Preventing people from going crazy from mosquito bites organization...Complete
1. The beginning of madness

**This is yet another story. Sigh I'm never going to get a story finished, damn wandering mined! **

**I know that this story idea has been used a lot, you know the dragon slayers have a sex talk or stuff like that. But my story is going to be a little different, hope you enjoy it. **

**Only Gatti, Miguel, Dalet, Guimel, Chesta and Dilandau are in this fic and their the one's referred to as the Dragon slayers. Ryuon and Viole aren't in this fic because they barely talked in the series. If anyone is appalled by this I'm sorry but that's how I see things. **

**> > >**

"Everyone…' The blond haired woman at the front of the small theatre like auditorium said. And after a few futile attempts at getting the groups attention by clearing her through and stomping her foot angrily she grabbed the microphone and cranked the speakers up to full power.

"EVERYONE!" screeched across the auditorium and all the dragon slayers clutched their ears and cringed down into their seats. "Now that I have your attention can you please be quiet and listen to Mr. Fanel. Thank you." The woman said, handing the microphone over to Folken who was sitting in his desk in the corner of the room, feet up and reading a fashion magazine.

"Mr. Fanel?" she said pushing the microphone into his hands, standing with her hands on her hips, foot tapping impatiently on the tile floor.

"Uh…yes?"

"Could you please?" She gestured to the sitting dragon slayers.

"Fine" Folken reluctantly sighed, putting down his magazine and stepped forward to the front of the auditorium. "As Miss Moodie runs away, I'm going to be telling you some important things so listen up!" The click of the closing door finished off his sentence.

"Are we going to be learning about STD's?" Chesta yelled out.

"No"

"Fangirls?" Dalet screamed, causing everyone to shiver.

"No"

"To learn how to prevent the development and treatment of prostate cancer!" Guimel yelled.

"Umm…No"

"SEX!" Dilandau yelled.

"We need a demonstration!" Miguel yelled in.

"No we don't!"

"I'm sure Miss. Moodie would be glad to help" Dilandau whispered to the other dragon slayers, causing them all to giggle like little school girls.

"Were not going to be talking about sex-"

"Then what are we talking about?"

"If you'd let me finish" Folken growled out " We'll be talking about mosquito bites"

"What?" The group gasped.

"You heard me, mosquito bites"

"What are we suppose to learn?" Miguel asked "They itch, lesson done"

"I'm going to teach you to not itch, as a member of P.P.F.G.C.F.M.B. (Preventing people from going crazy from mosquito bites) organization it is my obligation to teach you techniques to help you to overcome the barrier of itching"

"This is sounding to much like my Alcoholics anonymous meetings" Dilandau said, eyeing Folken.

"What makes P.P.F.G.C.F.M.B. think we need help anyway?" Guimel asked "they're only little bites"

Folken raised an eyebrow at Guimel and coughed.

Ahem

Guimel Flashback>

_Oh god it itches so itchy!...itchy itchy gaga nanah! Oh fuck so itchy! What's the teacher saying _Guimel listens more carefully _Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah Blitch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch…_

"AHHHHHHHH"

"GUIMEL!" The teacher yelled, dropping her spoon into the oatmeal cookie batter "Can you please restrain yourself!"

"Yes ma'am"

"Good" The demonstration progressed painfully slow and Guimel was about to chew off his arms off when a light bulb went off. _Chicken pocks are itchy. What do parents do to their kids when they have chicken pocks?... Ten points for the girl in the blue shirt. They give them oatmeal baths!_

Guimel looked around at his cooking ingredients _hmmm oatmeal, water, mosquito bites…all the ingredients needed for an alternative oatmeal bath paste!_

The teacher had to briefly leave the room to photocopy some worksheets, but that was all the time Guimel needed.

The moment the teacher entered the classroom, she dropped her photocopies and screamed in a unprofessional manner "What the fuck!"

Guimel's hands slowly lowered from his face. Oatmeal paste was smeared all over. "Guimel what did you do?"

The teacher looked up and down Guimel's form and saw oatmeal paste slathered on his arms, legs even his face.

"Oh my, I guess we should get this washed off. Okay, off you go to the boys shower room."

Unfortunately, it seemed the paste had created a hardened cast and Guimel had to be carried like a statue to the nurses office.

End Guimel's Flashback>

"Ok, so maybe I need help, but the others didn't go to the extremes that I did, right?" Guimel looked around the room and saw all the dragon slayers bow their heads except for Dilandau who seemed to be proud of the fact that he was subjected to yet another organization.

"RIGHT?... oh my god" he sighed.

"As you can tell from your comrade's reactions, you all have done something incredibly stupid and irrational. From you Guimel, and your paste to Dalet trying to cut the bites of his arm in biology with the scalpel."

The dragon slayers looked over at Dalet with shocked expressions. "It was a good idea at the time" Dalet mumbled.

"Miguel was caught rubbing himself with the tennis racket in, Chesta ripped apart his math book and rolled around in the crumpled paper pile, and then there's Gatti..." Folken sighed as if he was personally disappointed in him "The principal found you rolling down the two story stairs"

Once again the dragon slayer turned their heads to look at one another with the same facial expressions silently thinking, 'what-the-fuck'.

"I thought that if I rolled down the stairs the movement would be like rubbing against a tennis racket or math book papers!" Gatti said, trying to get his friends to believe him but no such thing was happening "Fine I don't need to explain myself to you!" He huffed, turning his seat away from them.

"And then there's Dilandau..."

"I regret nothing..."

Dilandau Flashback>

_Science class, oh how I love this class! Compared to all the other totally useless classes this stupid school has to offer, this class is brilliant! The genius who came up to this is amazing. I could hug the guy… and then light him on fire…Mwahahahahaha!. Potentially deadly chemicals at my fingertips…you think the teachers would know better by now… Idiots. This itching Ahhhhhh! _"MY SKIN'S ON FIRE!"

"DILANDAU IS ON FIRE!" a girl working next to Dilandau screamed.

"EVERYONE STAY CALM!" the teacher started to yell as the class nerd huddled in the corner.

"Mr. Mansie, do you want me to call the office or get the fire extinguisher? Oh I know!" The ditsy girl in the class said. skipping over the fire alarm, she pulled it while everyone screamed and smacked Dilandau, trying to smother the non existing fire.

"RRRRRRRRRRIIIINNNNG!" The fire alarm screeched, causing all the kids to freak out even more.

"Everyone stay CALM!" The teacher yelled, ripping the cord off the fire extinguisher, covering Dilandau in white foam. The impact from the highly compacted fire foam caused Dilandau to stumble back into the cabinet behind him, making the whole thing fall onto the floor mixing and spilling the chemicals.

"Mr. Mansie" The nerd from the corner said, tugging on Mr Mansie's shirt "There's sulfuric acid and formic in there. If my research for last years science fair is still current, it's possible that the combination of all these chemicals could cause lethal gases to distribute into the air. This could potentially kill us all and the whole school if it gets into the air system."

"EVERYONE GET OUT OF THE CLASS!" Mr. Mansie yelled ushering all the children out of the science room.

Eventually everyone got out of the school and watched as the fire and the biohazard trucks pulled into the school parking lot. A very pissed off principal pulled a foamed up Dilandau away from the crowed, muttering how pretending to be on fire isn't something to joke about.

End Dilandau Flashback>

"So that's why the trucks were there." Dalet murmured.

"Ya" Folken sighed rubbing his head "Because of your stupid mosquito bites, Mr. Mansie was fired. That reminds me, how did you all get these mosquito bites in the first place?"

"It was Dalet's bright Idea to make our own version of the Blare Witch project in the swamp. Unfortunately, he forgot the bug spray!" Miguel said looking angrily at Dalet.

"I told you, I thought it was hair spray!"

"Why would we need hair spray!" Gatti yelled.

"I DON'T KNOW! That's why I left it behind… God!" Dalet sighed.

TBC!

> > >

**Hope everyone likes it. I'm not going to update till I get some reviews! I know its mean holding out chapters for reviews but I get none so this is the local solution. Awe great now I feel mean…… Cookie for anyone who can guess what Folken is going to give the boys to stop them from itching! **

**01wing**


	2. Restraintmen

"Now, I want everyone to come to the front of the room…Come on." Folken encourage the dragon slayers forward. The group watched Folken nervously as he dragged a large cardboard box out from behind his desk.

"What's in the box Folken?" Guimel asked, cowering behind Miguel.

"This box is filled with equipment that will help with your itchiness." Folken coolly answered.

"I thought that was a box full of your fashion magazines." Chesta mumbled.

"Well, it's not. Now, hold your hands out!" The dragon slayers looked wide-eyed at each other. As they extended their hands towards him, Folken put a nicely knitted purple oven mitt on each of their unsuspecting hands.

"And what are we supposed to do with these? They make me feel like barney!" Dilandau yelled, flailing his purple mitted hands.

"Stop it! Hold still!" Folken commanded, sporting a roll of ducktape.

"You're not going to tape us up are you?" Dalet asked, inching back.

"Only your hands. Stop squirming!" Folken said, trying to tape up five wriggling and yelling teenaged boys.

"I will not be taped up! You will never catch me! NEVER!" A crazed Guimel screamed as he made an attempt at escaping. Folken and the dragon slayers could only cringe as they heard a sickening thud.

"Smooth move, Guimel. Running into a wall. The sad thing is that I'm the leader of you geniuses."

"What happened? It felt like I was hit by a truck." Guimel moaned as he lay sprawled on the floor.

"This wouldn't have happened if you had just stayed still." Folken mumbled, finishing the job of taping the slayer's mittens up.

"Now, I'm going to my car to pick up some more equipment. Those oven mitts are taped so you can't scratch….Oh and by the way, don't you dare try to scratch. I am your commander and I can beat you!" Folken threatened before cautiously leaving the room with a wary eye.

The soft click of the door closing behind him lead to a few moments of silence…

"Ahhhhhh I'm so itchy and these oven mitts allow no itching! He's a torturous genius." Chesta screamed, as he tried to scratch himself, cursing the oven mitts.

"I never thought Folken liked to torture people!" Guimel muttered.

"Bastard!" Miguel exclaimed

"Soon to be a burning corpse!" Dilandau just had to add in.

"…uh…" Everyone looked at Dalet for his comment.

"I don't know! The itching isn't that bad…" Dalet broke down under their gaze.

"Traitor!"

0000000000000000000000

"Okay guys, I'm back!" Folken yelled, holding a giant bag. "It's time to--"

Folken was speechless when he saw what his dragon slayers were doing. Miguel was rubbing against the stairs, Guimel was rolling on the carpet, Dilandau was rubbing against the air conditioner grate, and Dalet was against the light switch, causing the room to flash. Last but not least, Chesta was pondering as he held a…toothbrush? Okay, Chesta was always a little weird.

"Ahem!"

Folken was met with blank stares from his scratching dragon slayers.

"What did I say about scratching and how I would beat you if you did?" The dragon slayers remained silent as Folken put…dog muzzles on them? Yeah, dog muzzles.

"What are we doing with these on? Why are these on?" Dilandau asked, obviously confused.

"You have them on so you can't bite yourselves. You animals!"

"We don't bite ourselves!" Dilandau bravely defended himself and his slayers.

"I-can't-get-at-my-arm-with-this-stupid-muzzle-on!" Dalet screamed, smacking his muzzled face into his arm over and over again.

"Thanks for making me look like an idiot, Dalet." Dilandau sighed.

"Now, all you have to do is wear the oven mitts and the dog muzzle until the bites go away."

"But that could be weeks!" Miguel complained. Folken nodded gravely.

"You mean that we'd have to go out in public like this!" Guimel exclaimed.

"Yep!" Folken stated with a smug smile on his face.

"Ah man!" All the dragon slayers groaned simultaneously.

"And as we walk away into the sunset, let us remember the hundreds of people that are laughing at us!" Dilandau muttered.

"I can't wait till revenge time…"

"Neither can I. And who's going to be at the top of our list?"

"FOLKEN!" The dragon slayers yelled together

A/N The end, sigh, this was so random but oh well. Janelles and camping, giving me bites, making me crazy and this is what happens and im blamed for bing crazy the injustice!


End file.
